Alvin's most ambitious invention of all was was when he decided to invent a man. Starting with a great idea, and a loan of $100.00 from Al Moser of the Riverton Daily Bugle, Alvin spent just a few weeks creating Humphrey Dexter Grubbs III and convincing the citizens of Riverton that he was very much a real person. In the end, even the Riverton Police were fooled:
"'Our subject is approximately 45 years old. He is a male Caucasian, 6 feet 2 inches, weighs 162. He wears a bright orange wig. He may be wearing a blue suit, size 42, a size 16 1/2 shirt with a 44 sleeve. Size 12D shoes. He is certain to be wearing a red tie because that's all he owns. Probably physically trim, as he jogs three miles every morning.
'Our suspect's favorite phrase is, 'Never say can't; say will-do.' Has a lump on the left side of his head, just above his left ear, allegedly caused by a wound from an Indian spear thrown from the banks of the Amazon. He is virtually bald, due to a poisonous spider bite he suffered in Hong Kong. A chunk was bitten out of his right ear by a school of piranha.
'Grubbs has at least three ex-wives, who may all be in town right now. His checking account at Riverton National is number 571-7782. Grubbs has spent time in Belgium and Calcutta, among other places. He has joined the Riverton Country Club. Claims he owns Amalgamated World Enterprises Incorporated, but that may be fictitious. Also may belong to the Explorers Club in New York, the Overseas Traders in London, the Diamond Brokers Social Club of Amsterdam, and the Tycoons of the Safari in Kenya. Has a mole on his right cheek.' Sargent Wimberley looked up. 'The mole is shaped like a largemouth bass.'
'The next item is a dead giveaway. His pet is a large anteater. Comes almost to Grubb's waist, has a snout two feet long, and answers to the name of Nosey. The creature limps due to an injury to its right front paw, suffered on a golf course.' He looked up. 'Seventh hole, par three.'
'Grubbs was born
in Elmhurst, Illinois. His mother's maiden name was Cynthia Brynhaven,
deceased, and his closest living relative is Paul Irving Grubbs, a brother
residing in Marshalltown, Iowa. In addition to the mole on his right
cheek he has a four-inch scar across his left knee. Grubbs is suffering
from a deadly and highly contagious disease called Scamifulous Screptocarpia.
None of the doctors at the hospital knows much about it. They're
calling the National Contagious Disease Laboratory for more information.'
